It started twelve months ago. I was all expecting, couldn’t wait, and when the heck will he get here? I was not, at all, patient about the whole thing.
Then, the day came, and after a week and a half of contractions, and twelve hours of hospital laboring, and when I just couldn’t push and do this a.ny.more…..the best scream I’ve ever heard in my life echoed in the room. In that millisecond, my body went from ultimate chaos to extreme relaxation, and Sean and I instantly turned into a mess of tears.
The whole labor thing? It’s nothing like A Baby Story, or any sitcom, and I remember the pain.
My son was here, and I was officially a Mom. (SON and MOM feel weird to say, even a year later.)
My mom calls me her baby. I get that now. He will always be mine. My first. (Possibly, my only – more on that in a second.) He is the little boy who changed my entire world forever.
Here I am, twelve months later. All the unknowns that swirled around my head are now knowns, and I feel silly for stressing out over which swing to get him.
I now have this cool kid with awesome hair, who is content to walk back and forth in the backyard for half an hour with a leaf in each hand, dances anytime a good beat or rhythm hit the airwaves, chases the dogs to the bedroom while laughing hysterically, tries to stuff 15 cereal puffs in his face at one time, curls up in my lap when it’s time for a nap, and sings to himself in the backseat of the car.
He is the best, most wonderful thing, I’ve done in my whole entire life.
Boy: n. noise with dirt on it.
And I couldn’t love him more.
I had a strange experience when I first saw Asher. It’s hard to describe, other than by saying, I knew his soul, but I didn’t know his face.
Even though I clung to my child from the start, my love has definitely developed over time.
Where he is:
Measurements: 23.2 pounds and 31” long
Favorite foods: Sweet Potato, Grapes, Cheerios, Gerber Graduates Cereal Puffs, and homemade Apple Sauce
Words: Maaammaaa, Dada, Christmas Tree, Hey!, Hi, Daaaaddy, What’s this?
Teeth: I’m going to count it as 6. The two, next to the front two teeth, are breaking through, probably even as I type this. I say, “You’re a big boy with SIX TEETH!!” and he laughs.
Things he can do: Rollover, crawl, pull up, squat, walk, walk really fast to get away, pincer grasp pretty much anything, talk and babble
Where I am:
I hear women say that they just love breastfeeding. I really didn’t, except for the 30-50 minutes it allowed me to sit down on the couch and chill every few hours. People told me I would be able to do other things while breastfeeding. Ya……no. That never happened either. After eight months, the transition to formula was guilt-ridden, but best for my family, and it has made life so much easier!
I’m now super-excited to move onto whole organic milk. Not sure how much less expensive it’ll be, but no more mixing formula!
Breastfeeding was also not some magical weight loss cure for me. My weight has gone down – heck, I lost 20+ pounds in a day! – but I am still around 8 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, and 13 (I really hate typing that number out) over what I call my “happy weight”.
My stomach sticks out more than I like, even though I realize my muscles were stretched to the absolute extreme. I constantly push it in, while looking at myself in the mirror.
My rib cage, and I’m talking my bones, are bigger than they used to be – i.n.c.h.e.s. bigger – and my hips are wider than they were previously. I kind of feel like my body moved all my bones to make way for baby, but didn’t put them all back together correctly. I’ve given most of my old clothes away to charity.
I’ve tried watching my food intake, more protein, less carbs, less wine (ack!), I did the insane TurboFire workouts, and have now switched to yoga and running again because they’ve always been my standby. Absolutely no budging on the scale. None. I’m very frustrated and a touch bitter about it.
I don’t think anything is going to change my stomach, except maybe 1,000 crunches a day or some stellar ab workout, and let’s just be honest….that’s not going to happen.
I can run longer than I could pre-pregnancy, which is an odd occurrence. Maybe all those TurboFire workouts did something….or maybe it’s the constant chasing after Asher.
You’d think that’d help me lose weight, right? Running after him…Cleaning up after him…Picking him up all the time…squatting to get something while holding 23 pounds of baby….just plain carrying him around?
It should melt fat like buttah in a pan!
Toldja I’m bitter.
I know Asher’s first birthday is his entry into toddlerhood, and I’m super excited about it. I love seeing him do new things and become whoever he is supposed to become.
The first year went all too quickly, for my taste. I fear year two will be just the same, as I chase after this youngster every day. I really wish I cherished those newborn days a little bit more than I did.
But, damn. I was
tired, the walking dead, exhausted back then.
Where we are:
Around Asher’s six month mark, Sean and I decided we weren’t going to talk about whether or not we were going to have Baby Fields 2.0, until Asher reached one year old. Now that we’re here, it seems that everyone asks me the same question. So, to answer all of you…
I don’t know.
I don’t know if I’m mentally and physically ready yet. Plus, I’ve lost most of my sanity pulling boogers out of noses, telling the kid not to eat leaves and Kleenex or stick his finger in the dog’s butt.
I don’t know if Sean is ready, either. I don’t even know if Asher is. So, all I can say is, we’ll see.
In the meantime, and since I tend to isolate myself a whole lot….I want to start getting the kiddo (and me) involved in a mom’s group, or just get out there more. The isolation is really because we’re super busy all the time – and running a business from home keeps me, you guessed it, home. Which, is nice in the aspect of raising a child, but not so nice in seeing the world beyond our lot line. So, my goal is to get out more. See friends. Family. Make new friends. All that jazz.
Motherhood is definitely a journey. I know the years ahead will bring with it so many new questions and unknowns. But, we’ll figure it out together, just as we have this year.
As a family.